Updated: Sep 4
Are you tired of Being Manipulated by a Guilt Tripper
Learn five ways to regain yourself.
Do you know someone or grew up with someone who put guilt trips on you?
We all, at one time or another, engage in using guilt to motivate others to do what we want them to do. Guilt Trip Meaning
Some people, because the way they grew up, do it all the time. A guilt tripper is when someone uses guilt as a form of emotional manipulation to get someone to think or act a certain way. Guilt trippers would say things like, “If you really cared about me, you would go with me to the movies.” The bottom line, they don’t care what you want and need, they care about themselves. Are you sick of being manipulated?
Do you have a friend or loved one who does guilt-tripping or is coerced into doing something you didn’t want to do? Do you feel that if you say “no” it will damage the relationship? Does it make you angry when you realize you’ve been used for someone else’s benefit?
Sometimes, people that fall under the spell of a guilt tripper are people pleasers. People pleasers don’t like conflict and like to live in harmony. What ends up happening is you are so busy keeping everyone else happy that your needs are not met. That causes resentment likely the outcome.
Five ways to stop receiving the guilt trip from others:
1) Realize you have value, and you are loved by the Lord. So become your own person knowing your wants and desires and resist the feelings of guilt. Guilt is a spirit. Realize you are being manipulated.
2) Establish healthy boundaries: in your life and be honest with them. You are going to have to “confront” your guilt tripper. Tell the person that you do understand how important it is for them. Understand that confrontation when done in a healthy beneficial way is not becoming loud and/or violent. That means being honest with them. Be honest and being with a statement, “I feel __________ when you ___________.” This way you are owning your feelings. You are not coming off as accusation.
3) Stay Strong: Guilt trippers are well-enforced and will be firm and unrelenting with your new boundaries with love. Stand your ground and try not to explain yourself to them. The more words you use, the more they twist it. Remember, you are a person with value as well.
4) Don’t give in: If the person threatens to cut off the relationship, don’t give in. It is a form of manipulation. Tell them you are sorry they feel the way they do. The guilt tripper will claim to be the victim, and not respect your wishes at first. Stand your ground.
5) Be kind and patient throughout this process. Doing so will motivate them to make more of an effort to change. If they do not, then the relationship is toxic, and you may have to walk away. If it is a family member, then it is a more sensitive matter. Be honest and straight forward in God’s love of what you expect.
For example, I had a dad that would try to manipulate me and bad-mouth me if I didn’t agree. I would say, “I can see you are in a bad mood. I will come back another day when you are in a better mood. I did this several times. He got the picture, but I did establish boundaries.
I had another friend when we went out to eat, it was where she wanted. I gave in which made it much easier for the other person to take advantage. She never asked what I wanted to eat. I had to learn different skills. If I didn’t do something, I would get the silent treatment. I would call, and no answer for weeks. I realized I was in a toxic relationship. Manipulators do the silent treatment as a punishment to you. Is it worth it? Not at all.
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