Jun 14, 20237 min read

How to Overcome Rejection from Family Members?

Updated: May 9

Experiencing Rejection from Family is The Most Painful Event for Any Human To Experience on Earth.

The Story of Joseph Genesis 37:1-36

Joseph was favored over his brother. His dad loved him since he was born to him in his old age. His father made him a beautiful robe of many colors. None of the other sons got one. When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak kindly to him. I’m sure Joseph flaunted it.

Video from last Sunday's time together.

Video Script

His Brother, Reuben, the first of Jacob’s sons, lost the birthright through transgression, and it was bestowed upon Joseph, the most worthy of all the sons of Jacob 1 Chronicles 5:1–2].

It was the custom in early times to bestow upon the firstborn son special privileges and blessings, which were looked upon as belonging to him by right of birth and are now given to Joseph.

Can you imagine the hurt Reuben felt when he lost his birthright? The pain must have gone deep beyond measure.

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Joseph was set up for rejection by his siblings because of His dad. Have any of you had siblings favored more than you? How did it make you feel?

Did it hurt, did it make you feel as though you were a reject?

Then, Joseph had these dreams and told his father and brothers that they would bow down to him. It made the father mad, and the brothers hate him even more.

From a young age, Joseph believed God had destined him for greatness. In dreams, God assured Joseph that he would rise to a position of leadership over his parents and brothers (Gen. 37:5-11). I would say he had a lot of pride.

From Joseph’s point of view, these dreams were evidence of divine blessing rather than his ambition. From his brothers’ point of view, however, the dreams were further manifestations of the unfair privilege that Joseph enjoyed as the favorite son of their father, Jacob (Gen. 37:3-4).

After initially plotting murder against him, his brothers settled for selling him to a caravan of traders bearing goods through Canaan to Egypt. The merchants, in turn, sold Joseph to Potiphar, “the captain of the guard,” who was “an officer of Pharaoh” in Egypt (Gen. 37:36; 39:1).

Now the favorite son, Joseph, feels rejected, discarded, and sold into slavery far away in Egypt.

When we are rejected by our families, it hurts us deep in unseen places – It changes how we see ourselves and can destroy our self-esteem and sense of reality.

It’s feeling unwanted, thrown away, or not good enough for your family. Perhaps we believe we do not measure up to someone else’s expectations or have the desire to belong—but never really feel like we can fit in. Do you have a fear of rejection from others?

Rejection can cause emotional pain, which is like physical pain, and it affects our self-esteem. It is a deep heavy emotional pain in the chest where you feel like you cannot breathe.

I had a dad that never paid any attention to me except when I was hurt. I didn’t put it together, but I would self-injure myself to the point of hospitalization. That’s when he would pay attention and show he cared.

What are some of the ways you deal with rejection?

Hopefully not self-injury. Is it isolation, becoming a bookworm, etc.?

How do you all function with rejection?

DEFEAT REJECTION

To defeat rejection, we must first recognize that it is a spiritual problem. It is not just a feeling; it is an evil spirit trying to convince us to agree with its nature.

A spirit of rejection wants us to believe that we are rejected by God and others and maybe even reject how we perceive ourselves. But this is not who we are.

THE CRUELTY OF REJECTION

Rejection wants us to reject everything we have been searching for, for our entire lives. Its primary purpose is to make us push aside the things we want the most: love and acceptance. We are a self-fulfilling prophecy because we are set up so that we are unable to receive the very thing we long for.

We may withdraw from others as a form of self-protection. Become that bookworm to avoid rejection.

Rejection is a form of unbelief; it is dangerous and faithless. Rejection says we are not accepted by God, contrary to His Word. But is it true?

Rejection also says that to be accepted by God; we must be accepted by man first. It sets man as our god.

Rejection says that who we are (or who we are not) rests upon whether we are accepted by another human.

Rejection tactics are to tell us that nobody understands what we are going through. I’m not denying the pain of rejection. Rejection is the worst pain ever.

The Good news is Jesus can relate to us:

Isaiah 53 says that Jesus, Himself, was despised and rejected. Jesus understands all our pain and grief because He has personally experienced everything we are going through right now.

We must recognize that another one of the rejection schemes is to make us believe that we cannot make a mistake. Because if we do, then we feel like we ARE a mistake.

STEPS OUT OF REJECTION:

At some point, we must stop listening to the lies of rejection and start believing God’s Word for what it says. We must discern our thoughts and who speaks to us between our ears. Hebrews 5:13-14 says, 13 For everyone who partakes only of milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, for he is a babe. 14 But solid food belongs to those who are [a]of full age, that is, those who, because of use, have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. Cast down the negative thoughts 2 Cor. 10:5– visualize a bucket and throw them there. Then replace the lie with God’s truth – reframe your thoughts with truth.

We are spiritual beings, so we do not fight flesh and blood. It is not about you. It is about what is inside them that rejected you. In 1 Sam 8: Jesus tells Samuel they were not rejecting you when they wanted a king, but they are rejecting me. People reject the spirit of the Lord in us.

The good news is God chose us in Him before the foundation of the world! Before you were put in your mother’s wound. He is our Father, and He created us to be in a relationship with Him and come before Him in love. So, who is going to define us? God’s Word or people, families?

Sometimes, if families reject you, and are cruel, separate yourselves from them. Learn to love them from a distance. Build a healthy extended family of friends or family that cares about you. Build good boundaries with toxic family members.

Ephesians 1:6 says: …he has made us accepted in the beloved. This verse points out that we do not need to worry about whether or not God takes us because He already does. And when we truly believe He accepts us, it does not matter if anyone else does.

We are accepted in the Beloved; our identity is set on knowing that we are sons and daughters of God. No matter our mistakes, no matter our history—He receives us because He has made way for us to have redemption from those things through the blood of Jesus Christ. We are lucky to get our parents for more than 60 years and siblings in our lifetime, but the Lord and His unfavoring love forever. Let’s not get bound up mentally and emotionally on earth.

We must understand that our battle is not with ourselves or other humans. Our struggle is against Satan’s kingdom, which includes evil spirits, but we can repent for agreeing with them and cast them out in Jesus’ name.

Forgive those who have rejected you – it is for you and not for them to break that ball and chain you drag around mentally.

We can start believing the Word of God and that Jesus loves us. We can stop rejecting love being freely offered to us and know that even if we make a mistake, we are not rejected. Our identity is in Christ.

We need to stop looking to the world or family for acceptance—we can look to our Heavenly Father. You are accepted. Who is going to define you? God or man.

Rejection does not need to rule over us anymore; we do not have to craft our identity around what others think about us.

You can overcome rejection and find the love and acceptance you desire. Spend time with God about it today; ask Him to help you recognize and uproot the lies of Rejection and replace them with the revelation of His truth and love for your heart.

God wants to heal rejection hurts at a deep level and bring you peace and freedom from the pain of rejection.

I want to send every one of you a list of scriptures to meditate for 60 days of God’s truth.

Going back to Joseph and his family, it ended on a good note of love and restoration. Joseph was humbled and rose up …

By Teresa (Traci) Morin

Scriptures for 60 days or listen to the Father's Love Letters

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