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Writer's pictureTeresa Marie Morin

What does the bible say about forgiveness - Define Biblical Forgiveness

Updated: Aug 14


What does the bible say about forgiveness
What does the bible say about forgiveness

Define Biblical Bitterness - what does the bible say about unforgiveness

Let's learn what does the bible say about unforgiveness? We must defind biblical bitterness to come to a place of forgiveness. Bitterness is a chronic state of smoldering resentment and one of the most destructive and toxic human emotions. Bitterness is the strongman of unforgiveness. When a person is bitter, they usually harbor hostility toward someone who hurt them. Usually retaliation sets in to get someone back either ignoring their existence, gossiping about them to others, or actually want to say something cruel.


If not taken care of, bitterness can become very judgmental, cruel, and hurtful to others, murmur and complain about others very quickly, and lack grace. Resentment can turn into retaliation toward another person, up to murder physically or with the tongue—gossip or evil talk tearing down someone's character.


Many young men in prison today are bitter about their dads leaving them.


Bible verses about forgiving others who hurt you

Colossians 3:13

"Bear with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgive each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."

Romans 12:19–21

"Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Matthew 6:14-15

"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." 

There are many more bible verses about forgiving others who hurt you; you can look them up online. 


Why is it hard to forgive bible

Unresolved emotional pain, such as lingering anger, can often lead to harboring unforgiveness. By holding onto past hurts and allowing them to fester within us, we are only hurting ourselves in the long run. Addressing and resolving these painful emotions is essential to truly move forward and experience peace and healing. 

What does the bible says about forgiveness? - Refuse to forgive the victim and self-pity

Many times, people who refuse to forgive others live as victims - with a spirit of self-pity telling others what someone did to them.  If bitterness is not handled, it will manifest as long-term mismanagement of annoyance, irritation, frustration, anger, or rage.  Most mental disorders stem either directly from--or secondarily generate--anger, rage, resentment, hostility, or bitterness.

Self-pity is a spirit that holds you to the hell of your past. Look at it this way: Satan is the king of your past and wants you stuck. Jesus is the king of the present and the fWhat uture. Why dwell in the enemy's camp? Unforgiveness and self-pity rob people of their destiny.

With a victim mentality, most mental illnesses will manifest either self-defeating - heavy depression to a severe mental state or violence - sometimes passive-aggressive, destructive, vengeful, or even violent behavior. Pathological embitterment is a dangerous state of mind that motivates evil deeds toward others. 

What happens if you refuse to forgive?

What will god not forgive you for if you refuse to forgive? Matthew 18:34 "And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him."

It was sent to the tormentors (evil spirits) until forgiving the person that brought the offense, also, in Matthew 6:14-18 part of the Lord's Prayer. According to Matthew 6:14-15, a person who doesn't forgive others will not be forgiven by God. In the verses, Jesus states: "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins."

Does forgiving a person let them off the hook?

Forgiveness benefits you, not the other person. That does not mean you let the person in your life if they are verbally or physically abusive. It is obeying God's command to forgive those who harm us is crucial. By forgiving, you are following in God's footsteps, as He forgave us for our sins. Forgiveness blocks demonic attacks and brings peace to your mind. On the other hand, holding onto grudges leads to torment. Choose forgiveness for your own well-being and spiritual growth.

In Luke 6:27-28. Matthew 5:43–44 also says, "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." 

Negative Effects of Unforgiveness




What does the bible say about forgiveness
What does the bible say about forgiveness - unforgiveness puts you in chains. Man holding cuffs uncufed because forgiveness brings freedom


Dwelling on Negative Events

One of the most reliable means of detecting symptoms of unforgiveness is when a person dwells on adverse events, both past and present. Unforgiving persons will repeatedly replay adverse events in their minds and refuse to submit them to the Lord per His command. Sometimes, the unforgiving person will tell others about these events; sometimes, they will not. Some refuse to say anything, and some cannot stop talking about it. It is good to talk over things for the sake of counseling. However, it is terrible for them to be discussed frequently in ordinary conversations since it is nothing more than gossip.

Mental torment or mental illness is linked to Unforgiveness.  See the List below of Symptoms of Unforgiveness:


Negative Images

You will have negative images of the person who hurt you, and these images will keep you awake at night!


You Will Be Pinged! Suppose the person who hurt you enters the room or someone mentions their name. In that case, you feel like you've been pinged, your heart hurts like a broken heart, you get angry, you want to run or hide when they enter the room, and you start telling someone what they did to you—going into accusation or gossip about that person, or you just do not want to hear that name. Then you have unforgiveness.


Bitterness and Unforgiveness

Unforgiving people are often bitter. Family relationships are the hardest for them to cope with. Oddly enough, friends not connected to the family seem to escape the wrath of the unforgiving person. In contrast, family members must endure scowls, silent treatments, insults, thrown objects, and yelling. Unforgiving people who happen to attend church treat some church members as severely as they would their immediate family. This is the reason some unforgiving persons refuse to attend church at all.



Spirit of bitterness symptoms - Leads to Heavy Depression

A relationship not right with God is depressing. We cannot expect to be blessed when we are out of God’s hands of protection due to our refusal to forgive someone else. Unforgiving persons cannot have a right relationship with the Lord until they repent and forgive. Therefore, many of God’s blessings are not given to them, and protection against the devil is no longer guaranteed to the unforgiving person.



Self-Harm - Self-hatred

Every cutter and burner I have met has admitted that they refuse to forgive someone. Some have told me they use self-injury as a coping mechanism. I do not fully understand this and wonder if I ever will. Even though I may not understand, I have come to recognize this as a sign of unforgiveness, and I then investigate who initially hurt them and when.


Spirit of bitterness symptoms - Self-Seclusion

Eventually, the unforgiving person tends to withdraw from having contact with other human beings. There comes a time when it’s simply too much to deal with. The unforgiving person can reach a point where they will not risk being hurt by anyone else ever again. The issues build up unless something is released.


I’ve noticed that some who seclude themselves engage in “throw-away” online relationships. This way, when some new Internet friend hurts their feelings, they can send an exhaustive email explaining how they felt the other person hurt them and then block their ex-friends’ emails or instant messages.


Inability to Recognize God’s PresenceSatan can use unforgiveness to form a barrier between the person and the Lord. How can this be? It’s simple. God cannot forgive those who refuse to forgive someone else. Unforgiven sin separates us from God. It must be the willful volition of the unforgiving person to forgive. It must become their desire to submit their life to God’s Will and love Him more than obtaining revenge or any other form of compensation. 


I advise people to report the crimes against them so that justice leaves their hands and is transferred to law enforcement, the judicial system, and ultimately, God. God is just and holy. He punishes sin. If the person refuses to hand the matter to the authorities, they must forgive.


No matter the circumstances, nobody is exempt from God’s command to forgive. The difference is that justice no longer becomes personal but something belonging to God. Instead of wanting justice our way, we should trust God’s power and perfect planning to deal with the matter justly, His Way. This frees us to think about other things, such as God’s love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness of our personal sins committed against Him.


Attention Seeking Spirit

Some people use past and present unforgiven events to obtain other people's attention. Have you heard the old saying, “It’s the squeaky wheel that gets the grease”? Some people have learned that this is true. They squeak! For some reason, and I do not understand why this is either, some unforgiving persons refuse to forgive because they can still use whatever the offense was to obtain the sympathy and attention they crave. 


How to Forgive Someone who has hurt you?

To forgive would be to let go of their victim status. Some might fear that nobody will listen to them anymore. When we forgive people because we have chosen to follow Jesus, we are not victims anymore, but instead, we are made more than conquerors in Christ. Attention must be shifted from what happened and given to God in submission to His Divine Will for our lives. 

Pride must be done away with so that the unforgiving person will humbly admit they are sinful, too. I believe God’s heart is broken whenever someone is abused, but I also think that His heart is broken all the more whenever we reject what His Son, Jesus Christ, did on the cross to purchase our forgiveness.

It is essential to be transparent with God about what has been done to you and trust in His judgment. Remember, retribution is His concern. Allow the Lord to bear your burdens and find solace in knowing He will bring you peace and healing. After you forgive someone, give them over to the Lord since vengeance belongs to the Lord. He can deal with the person much better than you. 

by: Traci Morin, Christian Public Speaker, Writer, and Ordained Minister of the Gospel


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